Pfeiffer: A woman, two men and two rats

Posted by Big Rat on Campus on Jan 7, 2017 in Rat News | Subscribe

This is the story of a Falls woman, her boyfriend, a man named “John” and a couple of rats.

No, not the kinds of rats that Don Stefano used to worry about. 

I’m talking about the furry, long-tailed members of the rodent family that some folks now seem to feel make adorable pets (forget about that whole they are known to transmit diseases stuff).

Our tale unfolds around 8:45 p.m. Thursday, when a 36-year-old woman and a man she knows only as “John” are sitting in the living room of her Cleveland Avenue home. The woman’s boyfriend is in the kitchen of the home, “making waffles.”

The woman knows “John” because her cousin, known only as “TA,” has brought him around to her house “a few times to hangout.” On this particular night, “John” has stopped by without “TA” and he’s asked to “spend the night.”

The woman obliges.

So, as her boyfriend works on the waffles, the woman brings out her two pet rats and begins “playing with them” in front of “John.” The rats are scurrying around the woman’s shoulders and everything seems to be fine, until “John” suddenly recoils in horror.

“Eww,” “John” says. “Why did you just lick that rat’s tail?”

The woman, shocked, denies the charge.

“I didn’t lick my rat’s tail,” she retorts.

“John” is now offended by the woman’s reply and becomes angry. 

“Don’t disrespect me like that (expletive),” John exclaims.

Now the commotion in the living room has caught the attention of the waffle-maker in the kitchen. Concerned that “John” has called his girlfriend an unflattering name and has suggested she licked a rat’s tail, he leaves the kitchen to confront her accuser.

The boyfriend entered the living room and told “John” he was no longer welcome in the home.

“John” then began to punch the boyfriend, repeatedly, in the head, knocking him to the floor. As the woman began calling police, “John” ran from the home. 

The boyfriend suffered a bump above his left eye and a laceration to the back of his head. The woman was not harmed.

There was no word on the fate of the rats.

This story was ripped from the pages of the Niagara Falls Police blotter. 

You can’t make this stuff up.

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