McCarthy rats are student pets

Posted by Big Rat on Campus on Mar 12, 2018 in Rat News | Subscribe

It has come to the attention of Student Housing that the rat infestation that was in the McCarthy building was actually the result of a cluster of pet rats gone wild.

Sophomore engineering major, Justin Long, admitted to having kept rats in his unplugged fridge during the fall semester.

“Their names were Derek, Cubo and Dawson,” said Long. “I hope you’re still out their kiddos. Your daddy and uncles love and miss you,” said Long.

By the time the students realized the rats were gone, there was already an uproar in the building and they didn’t want to get in trouble.

“It insane how they escaped. Those little bastards are ingenious, I swear,” said Long’s roommate Terry Gonzales, a sophomore health and human sciences major. “They chewed a hole through the fridge under the newspapers we shred for them to burrow in.”

They feel that enough time has passed now that they can’t get in trouble, so they decided to come forward to the proper authorities. They reported their rats missing to DPS last week, on Feb. 14.

“I don’t know if you guys are out there, but please, please come back to us,” said Long.

Long and his roommates hadn’t always wanted rats. There was a period where a dog was in the talks.

“I can’t even think about a dog now. Dogs are filthy and slobbery, and their poop is huge,” said Gonzales. “I will never go back. As I live and breathe, I am a rat brother.”

Steps to exterminate the rats in McCarthy are already underway, but the roommates remain hopeful.

If anyone sees any sign of them around campus, please report it immediately to DPS.

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