From CSI Bedroom to The Great British Rake Off: 24 hours in fantasy TV land

Posted by Big Rat on Campus on Mar 25, 2016 in Rat News | Subscribe

Think you’re a TV obsessive? You’ve got nothing on Tom Rosenthal and Naz Osmanoglu, stars of new BBC3 sitcom Flat TV. Each episode sees the pair – Tom a vain control-freak, Naz an airheaded dreamer with a fondness for making useless inventions – reimagine the mundanities of their twentysomething flatshare life (putting out the binbags, playing Call Of Duty, etc) as dramatic telly, with parodies of Sherlock, Big Brother and Location, Location, Location. With this in mind, the Guide has asked the pair to build us a day’s programming for their fevered telly daydreams. Welcome to the newest network on TV: Channel Flat…

6am (Too Early) This Morning

Lifestyle chat and celebrity interviews

Today’s topics: “There’s some leaves to clean up. Who’s going to do it?” and “Are there rats in our flat?” Actor Tom promotes his new horror-thriller The Kids Hanging Out Near Our Bins, and chef Naz presents his new shape of pasta: Fettucinaz.

11am Flat News

The latest headlines from around the flat.

12noon Daily Fridge Politics

Fridge proceedings interspersed with freezer discussion

Today debating Tom labelling food with his name: necessary pragmatism or authoritarian show of power? Featuring outspoken fridge-anarchist Naz, presenting his view that no shelf can ever truly be owned.

1pm Rake Me Out

Dating show presented by Paddy McGuinnaz

Eligible handyman Naz and reticent manual labourer Tom have to clean up those leaves; 30 rakes compete for their affections. Let the ape see the scrape!


2pm The Great Flat Design Challenge

Interior decorating contest

Tom and Naz compete to transform third flatmate Mike Dowling’s office into something they can actually use, despite Mike’s protestations. Tom gets a remarkable price on a chandelier but is in for a surprise. Naz’s attempts to create a swimming pool have disastrous consequences.


Toilet humour: (l-r) Naz, Mikey (Ethan Lawrence) and Tom. Photograph: BBC

2.30pm Flat Crufts

Prestigious animal show

Claire Baldnaz presents the final day. Which of Naz’s pet rats will be crowned best in show 2016?

3pm Flat Sport: Live Coverage Of The PFGA Masters

Day two in the most prestigious event of the Flat Golf calendar, live from the hallway

More from the finest exponents of hitting a ping-pong ball with a pencil into paper cups around the flat. Tom carries a three-shot lead from the first day after Naz’s difficulties in the shag carpet.


5pm Tom Rosen-Kyle

Controversial host Tom Rosen-Kyle deals with more dilemmas and fiery confrontations

“My flatmate’s keeping rats!” Tempers boil over as the flatmates attempt to settle their differences. Also: “My flatmate killed my rat!” – the lie detector reveals all.


Lift-off: Tom and Sophie (Alicia Scott-Fawcett). Photograph: BBC

6pm CSI: Bedroom

Gripping crime-scene-investigation drama

Dead From Neglect: A 10-year-old mystery involving the death of a Tamagotchi is rekindled.

7pm The Great British Rake Off

Competitors battle it out to be named the flat’s best raker

The rakers get to grips with autumn in the semi-finals, making foliage sculptures for their signature challenge, a mulch pile for the technical rake and a centreleaf for the showstopper.


Photograph: Adam Lawrence/BBC

9pm The Jump

Extreme domestic sports

Doubts remain as to whether anybody will be able to face the live sofa jump as Tom recovers from his severely stubbed toe and Naz still has Fettucinaz stuck up his nose.

10pm Storyville: Mr Jenkins

Documentary

A portrait of Naz’s favourite rat, tortured sculptor and jazz performer Mr Jenkins, whose death in March 2016 followed a well-publicised history of rat-poison abuse. The film traces Mr Jenkins’s rise and demise, telling his story via music and video footage, and asks questions about the mysterious circumstances surrounding his death.

12.30am Rake Me Out: The Gossip

Companion programme to the dating show

Flathead steel rake and bowhead steel rake continue where they left off. Naz sees another side to levelling rake – does he regret his decision?

2am Teleshopping

Buying needless crap on eBay from the comfort of the sofa.

6am (Too Early) This Morning

Lifestyle chat and celebrity interviews

Today’s topic: “How have we still not cleared those leaves?” Also, actor Tom promotes his new gritty Britflick The Bin Kids Called Me A Prick, and chef Naz presents his new shape of pasta: Lasagnaz.

The whole series of Flat TV is available on BBC3 online

Article source: http://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2016/mar/25/bbc3-flat-tv-tom-rosenthal-naz-osmanoglu-fantasy-channel

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